Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I'm still here :-)

I have started a lot of posts recently but not gotten anywhere. I read a story about a landlord who hired someone to start a fire in his property to collect the insurance money and killed a family. It was so depressing, but I couldn't fully articulate my thoughts. And I started a post about digital files because I think it's an interesting concept that makes me question ownership.

But mostly I've been hanging around the house sick. I was on an antibiotic that worked, that brought back my energy, that took away a lot of the neurological symptoms. I had to stop it because it gave me heartburn that radiated to the base of my skull. The antibiotic we replaced it with has not worked, and I am back to being fully symptomatic. I flew to Seattle Friday to check in with my doctor, and I'm back on the old med with a lot of intestinal support to see if we can avoid an IV.

I've also been writing my first chapter as I have time. I spoke with an agent who is interested in my story, but it may be that this book is better as a memoir and that the guide"book" component with the stories of others who have lost their homes will be incorporated into a fully functional website with a forum and articles loaded with advice. Because of the Lyme I have limited energy, so if anyone is interested in helping develop the website (for free or cheaply), let me know.

I wanted to hold our first fundraiser for the to-be-formed Life After the Fire organization this summer on the second anniversary of the fire. But with my energy level I'm not sure it's going to happen. I'm trying not to be hard on myself, but it's hard for me to reconcile this new reality.

Dan has been having his best semester since the fire. He had finally gotten into an academic groove during the summer semester before the fire. And the fire just got in the way of everything. He tried going to school last spring, but he was finishing the house, and I was an anxious mess, so he withdrew. And in the fall he stayed home with me to take care of Kellen while I tried to get healthy (and with the fall we had it was a good thing!). It's good to see him getting back on track.

Every day we get a little further from the fire and a little closer to our normal. It may not be the same path we were on before, but it's at least in the neighborhood of that other path.

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