Yesterday Kellen, Dan, and I were at The Little Gym. We were enrolling for the summer, and I looked around at the t-shirts and immediately thought, "Oh yeah, we used to have one of those." I stopped myself. Wait. We HAVE one of those. It was AFTER the fire.
I'm finding this happens more frequently now. Did I USED to own that? Or do I currently have it? Everything is BF and AF, before fire and after fire. And yet there still seems to be limbo. I feel like I am constantly categorizing, stopping to ask myself if said item, thought, emotion belongs in BF or AF. If you remember in school doing Venn Diagrams (the two circles that intersect), I feel like my life is those two circles, though when I was in BF I had no awareness of AF. Now I have two equivalent circles that just barely intersect. And off to the side of the whiteboard is a big running list that gets added to daily in which I am being asked to fill in my circles. And sometimes I am wrong, having to go back and re-categorize, wondering when I will stop putting everything in the BF category and start realizing what I have now.