Monday, November 17, 2008

I can't

"I can't" is a phrase I don't use. I try to eradicate it from my students' vocabularies. I was raised to believe I could do anything, and that attitude has gotten me a long way.

Today I said, "I can't." And then I started to cry. Given the stress of the fire, having a baby, and now my face being temporarily stuck, I had to take some time off work. But having to say "I can't" was so hard for me.

In the past I have run when I got overwhelmed. Instead of doing what I needed to do for myself, I would find an out. I don't know if I can recall a time where I walked in and said that I needed to take care of myself first. But I did today. And as hard as it was and as much as I cried and felt like I should take it all back, I am proud of myself for finally saying "today, this is what I need." I'm sure it is one of a thousand lessons in all of this.

3 comments:

  1. Good for you, Brooke. It's very hard to put yourself first when you're not accustomed to doing so, and I'm glad you're listening to the universe when it's telling you, "Hey, take care of yourself!"

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  2. I'm proud of you Brooke! You are in such a delicate state right now, so fragile. We must take care of fragile things so they don't break. You are not saying "I can't do this" - You are saying "I CAN do this, so I need to take care of myself to make SURE that I can!!"

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  3. Brooke...We don't know each other, and I don't believe I stumbled across your blog by accident. When I read this post, it made me want to suggest that you speak with your doctor about short term disability. If for no other reason than STRESS. You are certainly entitled to it. Forgive me if I am intruding. Coincidentally, or perhaps not, my brother and his family lost their home to a fire on 7/12/08. They are living in a 5th wheel trailer on their property. It is becoming icy cold in the Seattle suburb where they live. I pray for them every day, and I pray for you and your family as well. Take care of you first. It's the right thing to do at this time. Bless your heart....

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