Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Two years ago I woke up to a warm October day, knowing that I would be sharing my vows with Dan later that afternoon. I had friends and family in from the East coast. We all stayed at the house. It was a tight fit, but it was great to have everyone there at our house.

I had made a guest book to match our black and white theme. We had CDs made for favors. The night before Dan had given me a teardrop necklace wrapped in a onesie that he had screenprinted to say, "I [heart] daddy more than mommy." We knew we weren't ready to try for a baby just yet, but we knew that having kids was important to us and that it would happen within a year or so.

I loved my dress. I had seen it in a magazine, and we designed the whole wedding around it. It was a white dress with black pleats. I still had it hanging in the closet the day of the fire. I knew I would never wear it again, but I just wasn't ready to part with it. I had decided when I was ready to let go of it, I would donate it to an organization that sells second-hand wedding dresses for breast cancer. I'm sad that the dress will not bring joy to another.

Dan and I wrote our own vows. That day I promised Dan many things. What stands out at this moment is the promise to continue to grow and to grow toward one another. When I made that vow I didn't expect that growth to include a devastating house fire. I didn't expect our marriage to be tested at such an early stage. We are both being forced to change and grow as a result of the fire (and the baby... and the combination of the two). And our challenge is to ensure that growth keeps us together rather than pulling us apart.

Dan promised to keep our lives full of joy and laughter. It seems so simple and ironic now. But even in this event, he has managed to do that. The child we both created brings us immeasurable joy. The day after the fire, we wore shirts that said, "Let me stand next to your fire." Humor will keep us going. And love. That's what we celebrate today.

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