Thursday, September 18, 2008

The not-so-good

Trust me. I am not always happy and strong. I have moments of weakness, bitterness, and discontent. It's the little things that seem to bother me.

I had this pillow that had been broken in over a couple of years. It was like a temperpedic. We got another pillow, but it is so hard and unfriendly.

Our home had tilework throughout. This place has carpet everywhere. It is probably what is bothering me the most right now. It just feels like it's a constant reminder of the loss, the pain of the loss.

The refrigerator is old and kind of falling apart. The top shelf needs a soda as a pillar to hold it up. There is no where for orange juice. There is hardly a place for ketchup. Coffee bags don't fit in the freezer.

Even after a trip to Barnes and Noble and some books given to us by friends, our books take up one row of a very small, footlong bookcase in the closet.

I know we will rebuild and recover a lot of our loss. I will even break in my pillow. I'm just really sad that I even have to worry about that.

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