Monday, September 29, 2008

Last names

Dan and I were married in a beautiful ceremony in October of 2006... it's almost been 2 years. After we got married, I thought about changing my name but didn't know if I really wanted to. I'd had this identity for 24 years. I wrote some after college and had bylines with my maiden name. I was used to it. It was who I was. Changing my name to something else seemed to change my identity... and I guess in a way, my identity was changing. I just never thought it would be a big deal.

I guess you don't ever expect to be thrust into the center of a story like this and all of a sudden have to defend a choice. I knew when the baby came that I would likely use Thurber socially but keep Linville professionally. It's not that uncommon back east. I may, however, change it now or at least hyphenate it. We are a family... and I don't want others to assume we aren't simply because my name is different.

3 comments:

  1. Good for you, Brooke. It's such a hard call - I know we talked about it many times in our last year at SBC together. That's why I changed my middle name to my maiden and incorporate it on all my legal documents. And it's why both of our children have my maiden name as their second middle name. It's not that I'm not proud of my "new" self; it's that I'm not willing to part with my "old" self, either. ~Heather

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  2. This is a really difficult decision to make. I get called by (and answer to) both my maiden name and Kevin's last name interchangeably, but I use my maiden name exclusively.

    Our baby will have my maiden name as a second middle name and I'll be keeping my name when she's born. I think a family is so much more than a name and I'm not going to let other people's assumptions bother me.

    Who knows how things will change when she's born...

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  3. You should never have to justify to others what you choose to do. In fact, I'm not sure that women have a real answer for why. I got grilled about why I did change my name, the independent Jane.

    I've used many phrases, "I think Italian names are cooler." "I like having the initials MM"

    It has nothing to do with being closer to family. It may have been because my in-laws assumed I wouldn't change my name and that if I didn't change it that meant directly that I didn't love Tim enough.

    None of its true. I can't figure out why I made the decision I did. I have no reason. I just did.

    Don't let anyone pressure you to do something you don't want to do. Don't let "society" tell you what to do. You have to follow your heart.

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